8/2/2003 9:47:59 AM - Gilean
The bounty hunters have arrived!
Well, the new patch is out. With it came many changes. Players are on both sides of the coin with regards to the success of the changes. With most supporting the majority of them. One thing that people did not foresee is the new breed of hunters to evolve on the servers. The "Bounty Hunters". These unscrupulous traders in human life have begun to flourish, raking in tidy sums, especially during times of war. How you ask, are they doing this? Well, their main source of post-patch revenue is the use of the "get safe" spell, Rescue. Gilean Gallery asked one of these bounty hunters, Chewtobacco, how they ply their trade.
GG: So, Chewtobacco, what makes your trade so successful post-patch?
CH: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
GG: I see.. ummmm. Another question… how much do you normally collect per bounty?
CH: RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
GG: Hmm it might be better if I ask your partner the questions.
CH: (looking peeved at being brushed off) RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOoooooooooOOOO!
Bob A. Fett: Now settle down there Chewie. He can't speak Wacky is all. Not everyone understands a Wacky when they speak you know!
GG: Thank you. So Mr. Fett, how goes the bounty hunting business?
Bob A. Fett: Well, right now we almost have enough cash to buy the Dukes palace from him. It is doing GREAT! Before the patch we almost had to sell our private reag stocks and declare bankruptcy.
GG: I have heard you franchised your business. Better Blood & Bounties, Gore & Guts Galore Inc.
Bob A. Fett: That we did. There are now 3 independent arms of the BB&B,G&GG Inc. in operation. Our franchise fee is a minimal 10% of your gross daily take. It makes a "killing" for anyone that runs a franchisee license.
GG: Glad to hear it, but what is the cause of this sudden serge in customers?
Bob A. Fett: Well, currently there is a fairly large war on server 101, and a few mini ones, grudges etc. Wars always bring in more business. With the addition of the new patch however, the business is BOOMING!
GG: Ok, Any specific changes in the patch are helping the business?
Bob A. Fett: Why yes. The new changes in rescue to be precise. We get at least 30 orders a day to firewall some chump's guildhall foyer to catch people in a war. Some guilds pay us up to 5k for each enemy of theirs that we kill. Simple kills really, we just have to keep refreshing the firewall, hang there and cast hold or what not to keep them on the wall. The good thing is we always negotiate into the contracts that we get to keep the loot the person is carrying.
GG: Ahhhh I see. I guess rescue had really "rescued" your business!
Bob A. Fett: Aye, that it has, that it has. Keep the wars coming! And if ever you have need of a bounty hunter, send a g-mail to Chewtobacco or myself! We are always here to take your money, and your enemy's life and loot!
Revolutionary new diet hits Meridian
A new trend has hit the lands of Meridian. A trend toward healthy eating. Dr. Fehr'loi Quan, the guru behind the new "Fatkins" diet has recently released scrolls detailing a revolutionary new way to shed those excess pounds. Heralded by critics as the first diet to require no PvP workouts, the Fatkins diet consists of eating mainly oil, grease, meat (especially Kriipa and Troll), pigmy cow cheese and anything that would normally make one GAIN weight. The one exception? Do not eat any Spider eyes. Dr Quan's research has shown that the only thing which actually make people gain those excess pounds is Spider eyes and nothing else. This diet has become a fan fare amongst the nobles of meridian, and many peasants are now following suite. Kentucky Fried Kriipa has named it's new mega meal the "Quan's quick fix".
In other developments… Solomon, a portly noble of some renown, claims that he had been following the diet and staying away from "spider eyes" before Dr Quan had published his studies. Solomon claims the diet is nothing but…"malarkey". When asked how he knew about the studies relating to Spider eyes, Solomon replied "well, ummm, weeeeellllll, I accidentally read his notes before they were published. Yes! That's it! That's what I did!" Speculation is abounding that the rotund Solomon had intended to sue Dr Quan claiming that his revolutionary diet did not work, and in-fact added pounds.