5/27/2003 2:41:37 PM - Gilean
Meridian's economy in peril.
A new strain of bovine spongiform encephalopathy (Mad Cow Disease) has been found on in the mainland of Meridian on server 101. Trade in the essential Meat Pie economy has ground to a halt costing manufacturers millions of shillings. The borders to the rich island market for meat pies has been shut. The island represents 1/3 of all the trade in meat pies. Shipments of meat pies from server 101 to 102 has also been banned as reports of one case of mad cow disease has been identified on 102. We asked some local mainland storeowners what the impact of this Mad cow disease has done to their business. Tova, of the Limping Toad Inn and Tavern in Marion pointed to a stock of meat pies and replied nearly in tears. "The report of this disease had nearly sent me into bankruptcy. *sniff sniff*" the normally jolly proprietor replied. "If something is not done soon I might have to set up shop in that backwater community of Jasper and sell Entroot berry soup, because that's the only place I'll find a rent cheap enough to run a store. Paddock is going to turn me into the laughing stock of the day. At least he had the good sense to also sell cheese. **sniff sniff** ." Other exclusive sellers of meat pies and their distributors have been hit hard as well.
Tracing the source of the disease:
New information made public today had traced the source of the Mad cow disease to one single cow, the same cow that currently resides on 102. His name is FattyMoo. While living on 101 for a time Sources say he may have contracted it from eating infected bowls of Widow Quisno's famous soup. It is said that he is quite Mad as can been seen in the picture below. We'll have more news on this as the story unfolds.
Escaped Convict plot thickens
There was a stunning new development in the Escape Convict series carried our by our beloved Events coordinator, Sinacul. It has been proven that the convicts were actually not captured by either of the factions, nor have they undergone any type of experimentation. The Gallery spoke to the man who is in charge of the captives, Iraqi Information Minister Saeed al-Sahaf. (Inset)
GG: we heard that your forces have captured a number of players on the popular world of Meridian. Can you give us some more information on this?
Al-Sahaf: We have not captured any Meridian 59 player, that is a complete fabrication made by the infidels at NDS.
GG: We have been told that there are horrible experiments, using biological weapons, being carried out on these captured prisoners that are cause some transformation into an insect Is this true?
Al-Sahaf: We do not have any biological weapons. And as for the prisoners, who were killed, it was not us that killed them; they were either killed in battle or ran away because they are cowards anyhow.
GG: Killed? I never knew or said any were killed. And I thought you said you never had any prisoners Mr. al-Sahaf.
Al-Sahaf: Oppse… I mean, you talk with forked tongue. You are working for the Al-Jazeera who is marketing for the Americans! If you do not stop this at once I will beat you with shoes.
GG: Sorry, I was just making an observation.
Al-Sahaf: One more observation like that and your stomach shall roast in hell.
GG: umm… ok.. Where was I? Do you have any plans to continue your invasion of Meridian 59?
Al-Sahaf: My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all. We will use the bug turning compound and shoes to totally annihilate them in jihad. Our initial assessment is that they will all die as we have killed the infidels we have captured.
GG: but I thought you said you did not capt….
Al-Sahaf: I have warned you and you will not listen, Dr Rihab Taha, come give him some medicine.
GG: No wait, NOOOOO!!! AARRGGHHH!!!!>>> Help I am transfo… *twitch twitch*