11/15/2002 1:10:39 PM - Gilean
Meridian's famed restaurant critics, Geza (better known as 'Ole Geezer") and Jude "the loony chess player" Kasperov. Traveled the realms of Meridian to bring you these fine dining tips. Unfortunately, due to Jude's constant pit stops for chess games, and Geza's walking stick, they were only able to visit a few of the available taverns/inns. Their first stop, Tos's Familiars.
Geza: "This tavern is perfect for the sport's enthusiast. They have a brand *farts* new wide screen crystal ball TV, and the most delectable Buffalo Fairy wings I have ever tasted.
Jude: "Well you know, being so close to the duke's palace and all, it's clientele is faaaaabulous. Why even the Duke himself has been known to dine there. There are always ppl there willing to play chess. Why in fact, I was playing this on chap, when…
Geza:Ummm… The food? We are restaurant critiques after all.
Jude: Oh yes, sorry. Paddock makes his famous fried brown mushrooms with a hint of herbs and Pekonch that toooootally accentuates the flavor, if you ever pass through Tos, do not miss out on this faaaaaabulous culinary masterpiece.
Their next stop was the bustling city of Barloque, and the B&H chain of fast food restaurants.
Geza: If you're in a hurry, and you like good food *farts*, stop in at any chain of the B&H restaurants. Their best food by far is the scrumptious fried spider eyes. These come in packets of 6, 12, and 24. Be sure and ask for the homemade honey dipping sauce!
Jude: palllleeaassseee, you old geeza, you wont know good food if it was thrown at you in a food fight. Avoid this hoooorid place at all cost. The food has so much grease in it that you can even HEAR yourself growing fatter.
Geza : *scowls*
Their last stop was the mountainous town of Jasper.
Jude: This secluded town has got to have the best food in the world! Scrumdidallyyyyumptious! Foods imported from far off locales are all the latest rave in the princesses' court at the moment.
Geza: Well, I would have to agree with you there *farts*. Their best dish is the famous Five-Bean Chili stew, served with fresh prunes as desert. One word of warning. This dish is so delicious you are gonna want to gobble this down by the bowl full. I personally had 5 bowls! I've noticed however, there is a negative after effect *farts*. I would suggest that you stay away from a crowd for the next few days after eating it.
This is an Actual real contest to be run on server 101 on Sun 17th Nov.
I was asked to convey an advertising campaign that Madam Quesno is running. It's the Spot "Madam Quesno's #1 customer" contest. On Sunday, 17th November after 6:30 PM EST, on server 101, people that have recently eaten Madam Quesno's tasty 5-bean chili will be running around the server. Spot the #1 customer, and you'll get either 10 bowls of her famous chili, or 2000 shillings! You should be able to spot the customers by their unique *farts* odor. (Oopse sorry, I had too much of the 5-bean chilly myself). When you spot a customer of hers, simply ask them if they are her #1 customer. If they reply Yes, YOU ARE THE WINNER!!! Ps, her #1 customer might even be discernable then most of her customers, because he/she has eaten a LOT of her 5-bean chili *farts*.
In a related story, the once vivacious Princess Kateriina, is suing the B&F franchise for the fat content in its food. Lawyers for the princess state that there should have been warning labels on the food, which state, "eating to much of this may make you fat". The princess, once a perfect picture of athleticism, has gained fifty pounds in just two months. The princess is famed for always having a ready supply of their fried spider eyes on hand during royal functions.
